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I've never liked living in Sheffield - it was the raft I cling to as a bipolar storm wreaked havoc on my life, tore apart my job and my home and my future plans. It's not Sheffield's fault that I associate it with that pain, but I do, and in my unkinder moment I despise this place

But I can also walk out of my front door, and within 20 mins be walking among hills, and dry stone wall

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I walked from Hillsborough to Bradfield. When my grandma was pregnant with my dad, in 1941, they went on holiday to see relatives in Bradfield. We have a photo - technically the earliest photo of my dad

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Early morning yesterday I took a tiny smidge of LSD, stepped out my front door, and took myself on a 15km walk to the edge of the Peak District

Occasionally accompanied by Alan Watts talks

I'd quite like to lose a bit of weight but I also very much like frequently lifting very heavy things then putting them down again 🙃

Phil. boosted

a little secret about Stray (2022). many gamers have fallen in love with the cute animal from the videogame.. and can you blame them! who could resist! but did you know the game is based on real life? it turns out, cats are actually real!! get in touch with your local authorities to find the best locations to witness and touch cats

Phil. boosted

Toyed with going for a drink but my more sensible self fought for control and won. Am having treats and watching scandi folk horror at home

So I get to gym tomorrow and don't risk knocking my tentative emotional stability off kilter

Reliving my Basic Gay days with a bit of Freemasons flavoured Kylie

Life confusion as I get an interview for a job I'd really like while also being in a profoundly bleak place, emotionally

Phil. boosted

someone on a youtube comment (!) just said "Simpsons didn't predict the future, we just haven't solved any problems since the 80s"

Climate change, hope 

"Today I’m going to talk about hope. How do find hope in the middle of a climate and ecological emergency, and given the tremendous resistance human beings have to the changes necessary to address it? I discuss three different kinds of hope – ordinary hope, active hope, and faith in humanity – and how at least two out of three of these kinds of hope remain accessible to us no matter what happens"

MH, climate 

I am *really* struggling with suicidal ideation rn, absolutely freaking out that we're on a collision course for total extinction within my lifetime and not wanting to witness it. I have a very efficient plan for ending it and, while I won't right now because I don't want to traumatise people, I am genuinely fantasising about dying suddenly in my sleep, or being diagnosed with something fatal

All I can do is distract myself. But it all seems so pointless.

Just passed a big furry meetup and in this weather I do hope they're getting enough fluids

Phil. boosted

Went to a kinky gay night and got tied up by a cute boy 🥰

Psychedelics have given me so much - a new perspective, relief from mental illness, Buddhism - and another wonderful thing they've given me is new music.

Have an indulgent listen to Greg Haine's Azure, if you desire. Best with headphones

Death, and poetry 

Anyway I'm not in Manchester I'm in Sheffield so I'll probably just go home and have a nap, because while the bacchanalian urge to drink and fuck has a powerful atavistic charge, I've never been too sold on saunas

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Death, and poetry 

If I lived in Manchester I'd be strongly tempted by Mancsbound, and he'd definitely have appreciated that

When my granddad died, I ended up drinking at a long-since vanished gay bar in Greenwich, then going to Vauxhall on my own, giving £20 to a homeless guy, and having a stripper pour vodka down my throat at the chav sex club

Which my granddad probably wouldn't have appreciated

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A Mastodon server friendly towards anti-fascists, members of the LGBTQ+ community, hackers, and the like.