Connie (they/them) @discorpse@mastodon.lol

unless your "social justice" can help untangle my pretzel dick I don't give a shit

if I die,,,, tell my wife,,,,, updog.

who's that tall green Mario that's always kickin it with him? is that his husband?

hi I'm connie and I'm enjoying bein silly on this platform! 🧛🏻‍♀️

I'm in my 20s and I live in australia - how novel! I'm polyamorous and bi, and I live with my cool bf near sydney 🇭🇲❤💛🖤

uh what do i like? I like music, video ja'mes, Marxism, people,,,,, some substances? bein silly and goofy and having fun 🌺

also I'm nb and adhd, what up squad! i also like pirates and kung fu panda and sushi and cats and bunnies nd hibiscus 🐰

anyway can I edit this later I bet I forgot a hundred things

I took a nice selfie but u all can't see it ,,, I know u can do better,,,, PRAISE ME

okay anyway since no one listening h
im here to ,,,, spea

oh im doing a phd

me: my water tastes spicy do u want some
my tinder date: *sigh*,,, lucky you're hot
me: ya just like the water

ok ttys (2 months or more)

oh and I had some sex hehe okay bye

exclusive pants pooping posts for mastido

devil: u can be part of the ruling class but-
fash: ya woo how signed yayaya
devil: u sure u don't wanna read the shitpants claus-
fash: I don't believe in Santa clams thanks bucko
devil: ok nws see u at work tomorrow hehe (bc u are evil and I am also evil)
fash: wait why did I just shit my pa-

hackers have uncovered the fact that all right wings have poopoo in their pants every day and we are allowed to mock them for it because this is the Faustian bargain they made

when u join the right wing they make u sign a document contract where everyone gets to make fun of you if yoh shit your pants,,,, uploading to "wicky leach" now!!

wait did tomi lahren shit her pants or was that someone else

people who shitted their pants and shouldn't be bullied for it:

everyone in the world EXCEPT jerremy seingfeld and the australian prime minister shitpants morrieson

scum morrison has a shitpants personality. he's a bad naughty boy.

I love he gets on the radio and is like "ok I didn't shit my pants lol" and everyone is like "you definitely did but who cares

ngl we're plenty "lcuky" bc we keep stealing stuff from periphery countrieas,,,,, an our head of state shitted his pants in a mcdonals after a football game in 1997,,, just like jerry,,,

let me know if u figure smth out

anyway Australia sucks but at least we have

JERRY "SHITPANTS" SEINFELD: oh yes I invetnedted oncesies your jonour because i love ameriaca

me, tearing up a 500pc stack of headsgots of shitpants Jeremy signman one by one: ur honour I object. seignfelt shitted his pant again

SHITPANTS JER: oh ya im v embarrassed but I can't help it I love shitty my pants and be the worst

okay actually first I'm gonna go sue the person who invented onesies brb

socks should be bigger so I can fit them over my legs and torso and sleep like a caterpiller mid-morph