kdau @kdau@mastodon.lol

One argument against time travel existing is that there should be evidence in the historical record. But I think I'd be hesitant to leave a trace that would seem cringey by the time someone found it. Imagine browsing old burial records and finding a Prof. Chadwick Goffelin-Touchgrass. For fuck's sake, *that's* how we find out? No thank you

Laundry equipment firm exec on trial for running a money laundering scheme through the machines' card readers. Prosecutor is floundering because the whole courtroom is just confused.

Prosecutor: So you selected a quarterly cycle for the liquidated payments?

Defendant: Oh, no, permanent press. Powder detergent. Works every time

Do you prefer the word "quinquennial" or "semi-decadal"? Either way, that's about how often I replace my phone. With the new one fully set up, I can continue to enjoy the fringe benefits of my device naming scheme: