Hey, question time. What do my fedibuddies think of the whole "attracted to highly intelligent people" thing??? I forgot the term for it.

I have some complicated thoughts about it. Kinda that it puts people of a set intelligence on a pedestal and means only those kind of people are attractive and only those people are valid.

It also makes me feel a bit weird cause like..intelligence varies across times so does this mean if the person who's interested in you, finds that and they drop you asap?

By "finds that" I mean, finds out that you're not immediately a genius at everything. What does that mean for those of us that are decently smart but it doesn't carry to everything?

What about us that are socially kind of dumb, but that can learn things quickly? It feels kind of ableist to me.

@assassins_queer I don't think it's really an actual thing? Not to invalidate anyone's experience but that's just not really how it works. Ppl might find themselves more into ppl they perceive as intelligent (that's fairly common) but it's more that it can be an attractive quality.
I haven't come across anyone *genuinely* IDing as sapiosexual for years (although maybe I'm just too in my own bubble) but when I did ppl didn't seem to view it the same as an actual orientation anyway.

@robeverybody If it wasn't an actual thing, there likely wouldn't be a word for it eh? I haven't come across it in a while too. I just sometimes find it fun to come across something lying around and poke at it with a stick.

I have come across people who did used to use it as a signifier of orientation though that may be because it was a joke that I just never got? For instance people thinking that Sherlock Holmes is ""sapiosexual". Stuff like that.

@assassins_queer yeah definitely! I just mean that I think it was a trend that was popular for a bit and then abandoned. Ofc if someone genuinely used it as an authentic expression of their experience I'd never call it a trend but in my experience that isn't what happened. There was this fetishization of intelligence that was going around at the time, esp. in the Sherlock fandom. The thing is we don't generally conceptualise attraction to an attribute as an orientation: that would be a fetish.

@robeverybody Yeah. I was deep in the Sherlock fandom for a long time so perhaps I internalized the worst of it without doing much of recognition after the fact. The thing is is especially in BBClock, everyone is especially capable and intelligent but they're not real in any sense of it. They would also be especially hard to date. haha


@assassins_queer It's an interesting topic! I lurked around the Sherlock fandom and I 100% see why that type of 'intelligence' (which was never realistic) was appealing to so many ppl.
Smthn about someone being able to look at you and know everything about you without you having to tell them.
Especially as an insecure teenager.

With sapiosexual: there's also the idea that you like someone based more on mind than body, but see intelligence as the appeal rather than personality. (Kinda ableist)

@robeverybody Yeah that's the big thing, especially with folks that have social anxiety. That someone can see your habits, can see your intelligence without having to talk about it. Heck, I wasn't even a teenager when I was in the fandom - I was closer to 22-25 - and I saw a lot of the appeal.

Then again I wasn't attracted to Sherlock or John but Mycroft. I was really really into Mycroft.

I, to this day, don't see why mind is different than personality. Maybe it's a dif level? Dunno bud.

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